Cookies and Cream Cheesecake, Coffee Bean (Singapore)

Yet more compelling evidence to stack onto Singapore's side in the eternal rivalry that is Malaysia vs. Singapore, in addition to super efficient infrastructure (I am so jealous everytime I get on the Singapore MRT, because I deal on a daily basis with the giant brainfart of an idea that is the Malaysian LRT), impressively manicured landscapes (I realize I am totally weird for coveting this, but whenever there's green in Singapore it's cultivated, clipped, garden green, which really appeals to my Type A side, and is in stark contrast to Malaysia's more laissez faire attitude to gardening), significantly lower crime rates (my taxi driver who has not ventured into Malaysia for 20 years for fear of being carjacked reaffirmed this fact for me, and everyone knows taxi drivers are always right), totally and thoroughly masterplanned city (that I am also in awe of, as Singapore has now become like a real-life Sim City which I used to really like because I could play God and design entire cities; I tried to graduate to the Sims, but generally people are less easy to control than cities, and thus have lower appeal. Which now makes me wonder if I didn't really want to be God so much as a dictatorial town planner), and generally awesome robotic nature: cookies and cream cheesecake that I found in Coffee Bean in Singapore that, as far as I know, is NOT available in Malaysia.


It looks speckly and freckly and is not the most photogenic cake around, but in absence of Malaysian boyfriend I turned to Singaporean cake and eclairs and waffles. Yes, I am unfaithful and a fatty and much to my dismay suffer from separation anxiety upon being separated from said Malaysian boyfriend. Even more to my dismay, evidently I fill up that empty void in my heart with sugar.

Going back to KL tomorrow, thank goodness. Malaysia has one giant pro going for it that will keep it trumping Singapore every time: it's home and my life is there. Also this damn exchange rate is bleeding me dry.

Dark Chocolate Cheesecake; Palate Palette

Good things come in small packages:

Vanilla bean cheesecake and dark chocolate topping


Wondermilk cupcakes (portions of a Generous Stranger Birthday Boy's birthday cupcakecake: he wanted to share the love, and no one says no to birthday cake and spreading of love, so we obliged. Happy birthday and gratitude to YOU, stranger boy!)


Other good things that also come in small packages:
Tiffany blue boxes
Breathmints
Espresso shots
Lollipops
Babies

The fervour with which I believe in this adage may have something to do with the fact that I am five foot nothing. MAYBE. Just saying.

Triple Layer Cheesecake; Coffee Bean

The godfather grand duke monster of cheesecakes: not one, not two, but THREE different types of cheesecake squished into one slice! Naturally, the moment I laid eyes upon it I knew I had to have it. It's my exotic mishmash Everest! My dessert Godzilla! My gentle creamy giant! As a huge believer (pun intended) in the adage that size matters (wait... except when it comes to my size or lack thereof... that's different) and more is not always less, this cake is IT. THE cake.
Unfortunately, as is the case with many things in life, the idea works better in theory than practice. In practice, it turns out, combining a classic cheesecake with a mocha cheesecake with an oreo cheesecake produces a dessert that appears to be suffering from a kind of identity crisis and oreo-measles. Evidently three kinds of cake cannot coexist in one slice. I thought it was interesting, at first, to be able to get three flavours in one bite, and then I tasted the distinct flavour of ginger. Seriously. Ginger. In a Cheesecake. I can only assume this was some chemical reaction gone awry in regards to the combination of mocha and oreos, but it was totally weird. 10 marks for creativity, 2 for execution; more is not always better.

Dessert Buffet; Ritz-Carlton, Singapore

The following post is why one should not ever give me access to buffets with generous dessert spreads. I do not have a large enough appetite to eat both savoury AND sweet foods, so when given the choice between something savoury and substantial and something sweet and completely unhealthy, I will of course choose the latter.

Thus I literally stuffed myself to bursting point and seriously almost fell into a weird hybrid of a sugar rush-food coma after lunch. This was not good considering I was sitting right next to my boss in the post-lunch meetings and the only reason I was in Singapore was to attend work conferences, and not, as my stomach had managed to make me forget, to eat like a heifer.

White Chocolate Cake with Raspberries

Blueberry & Chocolate Pudding

Chocolate & Pineapple Cake (sounds like an intriguing combination, but turned out to be neither intriguing nor tasty)

Classic Cheesecake (with a crumbly cookie base: MY FAVOURITE KIND OF CHEESECAKE BASE and one that is surprisingly difficult to find)

Raspberry, Strawberry, Blueberry Berry Cake

Espresso Ice Cream
Vanilla Creme Brulee
Raspberry Pudding

Lemon Meringue Pie
Caramelized Pear
Raspberry Sorbet (I made Mr. Ice Cream Scooper pick out all the raspberry fruit chunks to put in my scoops of ice cream. It ended up taking him ten minutes to put the above concoction together. I'm sorry, Mr. Ice Cream Scooper)

Bread & Butter Pudding (absolute FILTH. Seriously. I couldn't eat more than two bites. How the hell does a six star hotel mess up a bread and butter pudding, by definition the most rudimentary of all puddings? For shame, Ritz Carlton, for shame)

Lemon Pudding with Meringue Topping

I have no idea what this is but seeing as it was on the dessert bar and my mission of the day was to clean out the entire dessert selection, I ate it anyway. Is that disturbing? Yes, more than slightly. Is that surprising? No, not at all.

Strawberry Cheesecake, Creme Brulee; Oriel, Bangsar

Pbil and I tried to go out for cupcakes but apparently almost every cupcake place in KL is closed on Mondays (true story; google it if you don't believe me). Whyyy, cupcake places, whyyy? Is this a coincidence or a flagrant oversight on the part of the majority of KL cupcake producers? Because it makes no business sense to shut your store on a day during which the masses will be tired and weary, in desperate need of a sugary pick-me-up with which to gather strength to face the remaining four days of the work week.

Fortunately we found some cake anyway, though I had to resort to that tried and trusted favourite, cheesecake. Also fortunately, pbil let me eat some of his creme brulee (most probably in an effort to gain brownie points with me... get it? Did you see the dessert pun there?!).

Clearly someone reads this blog and is aware that the way to my heart (which is connected to my sister's, obvi, cause I am her favourite and she loves me soooo much) is my tummy. Well played, homie, well played.

Baked American Cheesecake and the Meaning of Life, Starbucks KLCC

Yesterday I found two raisins in my cheesecake. This is very mysterious. In my expansive cheesecake-eating experience, cheesecake doesn’t normally contain raisins. But there they were, plain as day and bold as brass and tiny and sweet as… erm… midget candycanes, hiding between the biscuit and cake layers. I am utterly perplexed. The first raisin I ate, I assumed was a mistake; that I had just imagined the raisin-flavour that had suddenly said what’s up to my tastebuds and turned up to party in my mouth. But three bites later, there was another one! And then I demolished the remainder of the cake in search of more raisins but that was it. Just the two. SO. Now we have a mystery on our hands. If there were three raisins, I’d definitely say it was deliberate. With one, I’d definitely say it was a mistake. But two??? TWO RAISINS??? What is the meaning of this, Starbucks?!


I have a feeling that when I discover the answer to this mystery I will have the key to all of life’s philosophical and moral mysteries. Maybe LIFE is a two-raisin-ed cheesecake (should be forty-two-raisin-ed, in my humble opinion) and The Person Up There sees it fit for us to ponder the meaning of why two raisins? what are raisins, really? are you sure there are only two raisins? perhaps you only perceive two raisins and they do not actually exist? but if you perceive something then is that not enough to conjure it into reality? and other such questions, while partaking dessert.

In a completely unrelated mid-morning update note, I am craving claypot chicken rice and/or gravy fries and Philly cheesesteak and/or ox tongue with fried rice with a burning passion. This may or may not be due to external factors. Danny asked me if I am currently in the throes of woman-time. Unfortunately for everyone who has to interact with me on a regular basis: I suspect we ARE nearing aforementioned woman-time (actually and mathematically this is impossible, but the alternative explanation is that I am just excessively and wantonly emotional for no good reason at all, which I refuse to believe). This would explain the inexplicable food cravings, sudden urgent need for affection and attention, and hyper-sensitive mood swings that are causing me to erupt in anger at unsuspecting people. I apologize in advance. Tell me you love me and buy me a red velvet cupcake and I promise I’ll play nice.

Here, have some more cake.

Chocolate Swirl Cheesecake; Junior's Most Fabulous Cheesecake & Desserts, Times Square, New York

After Serendipity 3 I suffered cheesecake dreams, which were also interspersed with dreams featuring other foods, the most notable and heartrending of which were my McDonalds dreams in which I'd order a double cheeseburger McValue meal only to WAKE UP the moment I sat down and put the burger to my lips (I tend to speak in hyperbole, but I had this dream three times in a ROW, no joke; and woke up highly pissed off and hungry each time).

As a result I could not stop talking about cheesecake, and in an effort to shut me up and save his sanity, Danny took me to the place that boasts the best cheesecake in New York. While this proclamation is not quite on the same level as the Italian restaurant that boasts having "the best cannolis on planet Earth" (so Rest of Universe, if you want to compete cannoli-wise, game on: please contact the cannoli place in Little Italy), it was still pretty cocky.

Each bite was like being slapped in the face, albeit gently, with cream, cheese and calories. I am undecided on whether this is an insult or a compliment because I am undecided on whether a cake should make you feel so guilty when you eat it that you can't enjoy it properly. Because that also means it's tempting and forbidden, which increases its desirability. But this cheesecake was not just fat-inducing, it even physically looks Rubenesque.

Case and point:

Strawberry Cheesecake Cupcake; The Loaf

Chocolate Strawberry Cheesecake; Palate Palette

Chocolate Sponge & Cheese Cake; San Francisco Coffee