1. DO delegate as much as you can to your parents, if they offer the help, even if neither of them are in the country in which said wedding is taking place.
Because they love it. Or at least, my parents seem to love it. My dad waxed lyrical about different types of flowers the other day (I myself only know 3 types: roses, orchids and lillies) and CGI-drew my seating plan and outdoor tents. So I have a 3D computerized seating plan. I may be one of only a few people in the world who can boast this.
Since I graduated five years ago (goddammit I'm old), I have done the following by myself and with minimal to no assistance from my parents: moved to KL, went to job interviews, got job offers, decided which job to take (repeat process for new job), managed own money and opened own bank accounts, found own place to live, paid own bills, sorted out own car loan, paid own road tax and insurance (though I admit I almost gave up at this point to run crying back to my Dad that I needed his help to negotiate the paperwork). Basically I have been a fully fledged, fully independent adult since I was 22 years old.
But with this wedding... I have no idea whether my parents secretly miss babying me and feeling super involved in my Life Decision-Making, but they've pretty much become my de facto wedding planners/helicopter parents, and I am SUPER OKAY WITH THAT. They call the shots, deal with the vendors, scold people on my behalf. It's amazing. It's like being a kid again. Except, you know, it's for a wedding, where I'll become someone's wife.
2. DON'T diet.
I'm really just saying this because I'm not really dieting and feel the need to justify it. It's probably better to be healthy and energetic in the run-up to your wedding and not have your hair fall out from malnutrition. Right? (Say yes so I can justify not dieting say yes)
3. DO find (hopefully healthy) hobbies to partake in so you have more to your life than wedding planning.
Like Yoga! And reading! And... okay that's actually all I've been doing in the spare time that I have that is not being taken up by looking for vendors for various things and drawing up magnificent spreadsheets of budgets and invitation lists.
4. DON'T offer up invitations when you're out and about and feeling a tad too social.
Really. I wake up on Sunday mornings and have to try to remember which other random acquiantance I bumped into the night before who offered their congratulations, and just seemed so happy for me and goose that they procured an invitation to the wedding.
5. DON'T agree to be staffed on a transaction for which crunch time will be during your marriage leave.
Or if this happens, DO try to drop hints to everyone that you'll be pretty much MIA during your wedding month, because I have more than 40 days of leave, dammit, and I really think I deserve to take a time out now.
6. DO try to stagger your wedding spending so as not to feel, and subsequently freak out at, the giant gaping hole in your bank account where your hard-earned (mostly) money used to be.
7. DO try not to fight with your fiance.
Because most of your fights will be about silly things, like why he hasn't responded to your email asking which of the 5 cake designs you spent hours trawling the internet for and attached to the email he wants for the reception. Which to you is a completely valid concern into which much thought must be put, but to him is like... just cake. (There is really no such thing as "just cake", but I'm trying to be open-minded here and accept that people may have strange and radical views on this, that I may never understand.)
If you have fights about serious things though (religion, babies, post-marriage lifestyle, polygamy) run, don't walk, FAR FAR AWAY and don't look back.
8. DO compromise on wedding decisions.
Like if your fiance REALLY doesn't want Taylor Swift's Love Story played at your wedding because he hates cheesy pop music and thinks that that song is the epitome of all that is wrong with how girls are conditioned to think about Love happening in the form of a White Knight Savior... it's okay. Even if you think that he is reading way too much into a POP SONG, it's okay. After all, you get to choose the cake. ALL THE CAKES.
9. DO give out your wedding cards early.
Because everyone and their mother (figuratively, although I'm sure if we're talking globally, many mothers are remarrying) seems to be getting married in these next few months. I still don't know if it was some supersonic message that only men between the ages of 27 and 33 can hear that told them to get married in 2012 or early 2013. I didn't hear any such message. Other than this super strong one from my ovaries, which I'm ignoring, I mean. (I'm kidding, Alman, don't freak out.)
