It's not even Ramadhan yet and I got teary booking my flights to Brunei for Hari Raya. All because this is my last Hari Raya as an unmarried person.
*commence weepiness*
And next year I have to split up my Raya time between TWO families! And I won't get to go to Brunei the whole time and just pig out and be babied because I'll officially be part of someone else's family! Okay, so not like a total stranger someone else, and it's not like I don't know Alman's family, but still! I'll be part of another person's family?!?!?! And I have to pretend to be well-behaved (err wait did I say pretend? That was a typo) and I have to be good and demure and wifely and what if I don't salam people properly and what if I can't make sufficient small talk and what if I don't understand Alman's relatives when they speak Malay and what if they think I'm snobby because I don't understand and what if I miss my family because I'm not with them on Hari Raya, and since my family is already so scattered all over the world what if my parents feel sad that I'm not there on the first day, because I'm part of someone else's family on the first day?! THAT IS CRAZINESS! THIS IS CRAZY!
I have a feeling I'm going to be crying right into my overloaded plate of homecooked nasi briyani come Hari Raya morning from the overwhelmity of it all.
For some reason thinking about Hari Raya is the only time I really feel like STOP THE PRESSES GUYS I'M GETTING MARRIED?! Everything else seems easy. Living together? Check. Setting up a house together? Will do. Total monogamy forever? No problem. Split up Hari Raya? HOLD ON THERE WHAT IS THIS CRAZY TALK.
*commence weepiness*
And next year I have to split up my Raya time between TWO families! And I won't get to go to Brunei the whole time and just pig out and be babied because I'll officially be part of someone else's family! Okay, so not like a total stranger someone else, and it's not like I don't know Alman's family, but still! I'll be part of another person's family?!?!?! And I have to pretend to be well-behaved (err wait did I say pretend? That was a typo) and I have to be good and demure and wifely and what if I don't salam people properly and what if I can't make sufficient small talk and what if I don't understand Alman's relatives when they speak Malay and what if they think I'm snobby because I don't understand and what if I miss my family because I'm not with them on Hari Raya, and since my family is already so scattered all over the world what if my parents feel sad that I'm not there on the first day, because I'm part of someone else's family on the first day?! THAT IS CRAZINESS! THIS IS CRAZY!
I have a feeling I'm going to be crying right into my overloaded plate of homecooked nasi briyani come Hari Raya morning from the overwhelmity of it all.
For some reason thinking about Hari Raya is the only time I really feel like STOP THE PRESSES GUYS I'M GETTING MARRIED?! Everything else seems easy. Living together? Check. Setting up a house together? Will do. Total monogamy forever? No problem. Split up Hari Raya? HOLD ON THERE WHAT IS THIS CRAZY TALK.
And now I'm getting all teary again.
